Coping with Grief and Loss During the Holidays

The holidays can be beautiful, but let’s be honest—they can also be hard. For many of us, this time of year is a stark reminder of who or what we may have lost. If you’re navigating grief this season, it’s okay to feel however you feel. You don’t have to force joy or pretend everything’s fine. Here are a few ways to honor your loss and take care of yourself during this tender time.  

1. Feel What You Feel

Grief doesn’t work on a schedule, and it definitely doesn’t take a holiday. Whether you’re feeling sad, angry, numb, or even moments of joy, let yourself experience it without guilt. Your feelings are absolutely valid and more than okay.  

2. Adjust Traditions to Fit Your Needs  

The holidays don’t have to look the same every year. Maybe you start a new tradition that feels comforting, or maybe you decide to skip certain activities or events altogether. Do what feels right for you—it’s your journey.  

3. Remember in Your Own Way 

Finding ways to honor your loved one’s memory can be healing. It could be as simple as lighting a candle, making their favorite recipe, or writing them a letter. Maybe it looks like donating to or raising awareness about a cause in their memory. These small acts can help keep their presence close and honor your feelings. 

4. Don’t Go It Alone

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to carry it by yourself. Lean on the people who care about and support you—whether that’s a friend, family member, or therapist. Sometimes, just having someone to listen and be present with makes all the difference.  

5. Take It Day by Day  

The holidays can feel overwhelming when you think too far ahead, or try to plan for every possible outcome. Instead of zooming out to the big picture, zoom in and focus just on the day in front of you. Check in with yourself, assess what you need just for today, and go from there. 

Dealing with grief during the holidays is hard, and there’s no “right” way to do it. Be kind to yourself, honor your feelings, and give yourself permission to find moments of peace—even joy—where you can. And if you need extra support, know that it’s okay to ask for help; know that you’re not alone in this.  

Take Care and Be Well,

Anastacia Webb, LMFT